So the last several posts have been some thoughts on adoption or orphan ministry in general. I thought in this post I’d give an update on where The Carlson Family is in the adoption of our children from Poland, but this will take a few posts to do, so be patient!

At the State House Getting Apostilles

Our dossier (the legal document put together in the US and sent to the country of adoption) arrived in Poland in early November. We really thought it would be translated and sent to be reviewed before Christmas. Well…that didn’t happen. There were some other needs which took president and our dossier wasn’t fully translated until January. It was finally submitted to the local adoption center on February 5th where they reviewed it and decided not to approve it that day. They were concerned about our income and our the size of our home.

Our Dossier Fully Apostilled!

I think the committee chair even mentioned how he wasn’t sure if he wanted the adoption to continue.

Well that will mess you up!! We were scared and really spinning, unsure what this might mean. Had we fought for seven months for these children to now have it all fall apart? Had we raised $35,000 to make these children part of our family in vain? It couldn’t be. No way.

I was angry. How dare they. How can they have the nerve to threaten the continuation of this adoption now? I couldn’t’ believe what I was hearing.

But God….This didn’t surprise him. Amy and I were scheduled to lead a leadership retreat for the church we pastor that very weekend. I wasn’t sure how I could do it. I’m kind of an emotional person and generally this kind of stuff makes me want to do nothing but have a pity party.

But God….He was sitting right there in our guest room, as I talked with our wonderful case worker that Friday afternoon, calming my fears and whispering in my ear, like He has so many times….”Jeff, do you trust me?” I had to admit I did, but man I wanted to do something about this situation over which at that moment I had no control. I hate that feeling. Don’t you?

I went to the retreat. I led the retreat. I believe we were able to make MAJOR progress for our church and ministry that weekend.
Spiritual Battle #1: ACCOMPLISHED!

Sunday we showed up for church. I’m a driven pastor and like to stick to the script most Sundays, unless of course, God reveals other plans. I just felt a strong conviction of victory during the worship time. After worship, we tend to move into a time of prayer for people’s needs. One of our leaders prompted me the church should pray for the Carlson’s situation. Initially I said “NO, this can’t be about us.” I was wrong. Again, the Holy Spirit whispers to my ear….”Jeff, this isn’t about you, do you trust me?”

That’s the moment I understood something about God. When God does something, anything, in someone’s life, it’s never JUST about them. It’s about others around them. It’s about the people who will have to be involved. It’s about God showing up and showing off so that everyone will know how great He is. This roadblock wasn’t just about us and our emotions. It was about our agency seeing God’s hand move. This was about our advocate on the ground in Poland witnessing a turn of events God has orchestrated. And this was even about the committee, or the chair of the committee and God having a run at his heart. This was about my church, partnering with us for this miracle to rejoice what God was about to do. There are always so many facets to what God is doing. It’s never JUST about you. Remember that.

As the church gathered around my wife and I and prayed, the Lord reminded me of a story in Acts 12. Peter was in prison for preaching. The church was scared and doing only what it knew to do….they were praying for God’s divine intervention. As my church prayed for me, I heard Him whisper to me again, “When the Church had prayed, the angels were dispatched.” When the Church had prayed. Not before they had prayed but when they had prayed. At that moment, as we said “AMEN!” I knew it was done. At least this hurdle. It would be OK
Spiritual Battle #2: ACCOMPLISHED!

We answered their concerns with data and heartfelt letters (kill ’em with kindness, right?). As I thought about what they were asking of us, it actually made sense. They had only a lump income sum. They had no idea or way of knowing if that was a descent amount in Central Indiana or if we were living near the poverty line. Legitimate question, I would say. Our dossier and these explanations when back before the committee on February 26th………………….

We fight many battles in our lives. Some are worth fighting, others….not so much!
(Is the dress blue & black or white & gold?)

I believe in a spiritual realm. I believe in a God who holds it all together, has a plan for this world and my life, and finishes the things He begins in us. But I also believe there is an enemy, the “Dark Side” if you will, working every minute of every day to thwart the plans and purposes of God. Yes, I believe evil exists.

I DO NOT believe evil will succeed. I DO NOT believe evil can conquer God or His people when they stand firm in Him. I only believe it’s a real thing and a battle we must fight in our lives from time to time.

There are two places the spiritual battles we fight are most intense.

1. Your Marriage
If you’re married, the enemy will do everything he can to destroy your marriage. Why? Because when a marriage is destroyed, everyone connected to that marriage is affected. In fact, the word “divorce,” means “a tearing” or “a ripping.” And that’s exactly what divorce is and does to families. I’m not saying there are never justifiable reasons for divorce, just that when it happens, it leaves a wake of fear, defeat, destruction, and devastation – even if the reasoning was justified.

I’ve heard it said, the best thing you can do for your children is love your spouse and make sure you have a great marriage. I think this is true. I can buy my kids everything under heaven, but it won’t provide security and trust. It’s interesting how children can sense when there is tension between their parents. Even that little bit of tension in an otherwise healthy marriage, can bring up feelings of fear and uncertainty in a child. Please, if you are married, win the spiritual battle for your marriage, first.

2. Your Children
We have always battled in the spiritual for our kids. Frankly, I don’t want to pass on to them my own dysfunctions from my upbringing (just admit it; we all have them!). I want them to be free of the things I have battled my whole life. They will have their own struggles….I can’t insulate them from that. But I can work hard in the spiritual to give them the best chance at not carrying whatever I carry. I see some of those things in my biological children.
But I really have felt it to a new level with this adoption. I don’t know what these kids have faced. I don’t yet know what wounds have been inflicted. I don’t understand yet what healing and patience will be required. But I know the enemy will fight all of that tooth and nail – against all my children.

Why? Why does the enemy care?
He doesn’t want the family tree to change.
If your family has a cycle of debt and bad money decisions which has handicapped generations……the enemy doesn’t want that to change.
If your family has an established history of addiction – alcohol, drugs, power, sex, etc – he doesn’t want that to fall away.
If your family has a history of divorce, abuse, or bad marriages, he wants that to continue.
if your family has ____insert issue here____the enemy of your soul wants you to remain a slave.
Because now he can control you. Now he’s got you. Now you can never walk in freedom, liberty, healing, and wholeness. You’ll always be a slave to whatever has mastered you.

Jesus came to change the game. He came to change our family trees. He came to GRAFT US IN to HIS FAMILY TREE. WOW!! That changes things!

The enemy doesn’t want the family tree, the destiny, the future of our children to change. He doesn’t want them to break off the chains of generations and live in the freedom found in Jesus. He doesn’t want Amy and I to fight in the spiritual to loosen his grip, through the power of Christ, on our children. He likes them right where they are.

He’s going to lose.

Will he lose in your life? Will he lose the battle he’s fighting to destroy your marriage, and by so doing, your family? Will you fight for what is yours? For what God has intended for good and right and beautiful? Or will you roll over for the lures of the world and the mirage of a better life?

Will he lose in the battle for your kids or will you fight to change their family tree? Particularly if your kids are adopted….will you fight to break off the old chains and loosen the grip the enemy has had on their biological family which put them in this position to begin with? Will you lay it all on the line to win the war?

Psychology is important and counseling helpful but some things only come, are only loosed, are only defeated through fasting and prayer. If you’re fighting a seemingly loosing battle in your marriage or with your children, biological or adopted, have you tried fighting, not only in the natural with words, attitudes, new habits, and doctors appointments, but in the spiritual? Fast and Pray; Speak words of life; Speak words of change; Speak prophetically, like the prophets of old, over your children and watch the old things in them die, heal, break off, and loose them to a new place of freedom where their family tree has completely changed.

This is heavy. This is important. This is often overlooked by parents. So many children and marriages remain in shambles because we fail to fight spiritually. All battles are inherently spiritual. Fight there first and see God bring amazing victory out of what once looked like certain defeat. Maybe I’m naive. Maybe I’ll know better when our kids come home, but I don’t think so……Their family tree is changing! They’ve come under my covering, now! The battle is The Lord’s and will be fought and won in the spiritual realm!
What battles do you need to start fighting in the spiritual?