We live in a very offend-able society. You and I are surrounded everyday by opportunities to be offended and really get something stuck in our crawl (wherever that particular body part might be located). In fact, the truth is, if you CAN be offended, you WILL be offended.

As we have not brought our children home yet, I cannot speak from any first-hand experience, but only through what many adoptive parents have told me: You have to have thick skin to adopt.

I would say you have to have thick skin to be human.

We love fairy tales and don’t like it when our lives aren’t exactly reflective of the latest Disney princess and prince movie. But I’ve heard stories about children rejecting their adoptive parents, or being rebellious as they get older, going off the deep end, if you will. There are times even parents reject their adoptive children….did you know there is a whole group of adoptive kids in America from other countries whose original adoptive parents gave them back?!?! I’ve heard of kids who are so difficult to help to heal because their wounds are deep and very, very raw that it takes every ounce of energy and courage adoptive (or biological for that matter) parents have just to survive with them. I’ve heard of adoptive families walking through the store only to be “encouraged” to use contraceptives – as if we’re helping to control the pet population. I’ve heard from other adoptive families of their children from another race, unfortunately experiencing discrimination and ridicule because of something over which none of us had any control. Thick Skin Required.

I’m sure, with soon to be eight kids, we will get some stares, hear some whispers, and maybe even get, as a gift, a box of……well you get the idea. We may have to endure some ill-thought-out Pollock jokes or even outright anger from folks who just don’t understand. Oh there are some WONDERFUL stories – they far outweigh the sad ones, I believe – out there. But it’s never a fairy tale. Never easy. I think God, lately, has been thickening Amy and my skin a little so we are ready for whatever this thing will bring.

Truth is, whether through adoption or some other circumstance, we all will have the opportunity to be hurt and offended by people, some well-meaning and some not so much, who just don’t know any better. The problem with offense is the one whom it truly hinders and handicaps is the one who offended and then harbors that offense, not the one who did the offending. I know it can be very difficult to get through an offense, especially when the wound comes from someone we may love (I’m still surprised by some close to us who are indifferent or even dislike the fact we are adopting these children). Regardless, God has a better way, and it generally doesn’t start the day one is offended.

God, from the day you’re born I believe, begins to develop thick skin over your life. He knows an offended heart is more un-yielding than a fortified city (Proverbs 18:19), and the bitterness and brokenness which results as our hearts, through offense an un-forgivenss, grow hard and un-movable will totally derail His plan for our lives. So He goes about the life-long process of helping us develop thick skin while preserving a tender heart. Think about the miracle that is!

If you’ve never been offended and you’re living in LaLa Land with pink unicorns and snowflakes which taste like Thin Mints, please know someday there will be a situation or circumstance that will test you to the limit. In that moment refuse to be offended. Be hurt, be wounded, be devastated….but don’t be offended at man or God.
If you’ve been or maybe even are carrying offense, let me encourage you to consider Jesus. Of course He can heal you and make you better, but that’s not what I mean. Consider the opportunity He had to be offended……Consider this:

1 Peter 2:23 – When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.

Trust Him. The process of creating thick skin has purpose. It’s to protect your heart. It’s to prepare you for what God has for you on the road ahead. And it’s to help you become more like Jesus.

Grow Thick Skin.
Refuse to be offended.
Trust your heart to the Master.
Forgive. Forgive. Forgive.

It won’t be easy, I promise. But it will be worth it.

Statistically, one of the main deterrents to adoption is money. Understandably so. Amy and I always knew it was expensive, but when you really get into it, it’s not just expensive to bring an orphan (or a few of them) into your home, it’s REALLY expensive!! It’s an issue for most of us. We don’t have $35K or $40K lying around we can just spend on something, even as important as adoption. It’s an issue….but if you’re thinking about adoption, please don’t let it be THE issue. Let me give you four reasons why money shouldn’t be the determining factor in whether or not to adopt an orphan.

1. Our FEELINGS about money are not usually telling us the truth. Feelings are deceptive. When it comes to money we often can feel either secure or insecure. When faced with HUGE medical bills, credit card debt, or potential adoption expenses, feelings of fear and “what if” tend to rise up. If you let them be in control you’ll never adopt – or do anything else worth a major financial leap of faith. Don’t let your feelings be in charge. They lie.

2. You’ll never be ready. I’ve heard lots of people say things like, “when our finances are secure” or “as soon as I get that promotion” before they will begin the process of adoption (or giving to the needy, or taking a mission’s trip, or _______(insert hard financial thing which requires faith of your choice. Let me qualify this by saying you probably should be prudent about this, but not paranoid – and there’s a major difference. The Bible encourages us to count the cost before we begin, BUT, if you’re waiting until every financial piece falls into perfect alignment, you’ll never even start. There’s too many variables, too many possible circumstances that COULD happen. You just have to go for it when you feel God has called your number – whether adoption or that other God-inspired leap of faith you’ve been putting off.

3. There is an enormous amount of help out there. From grants, to matching grants, to fundraising assistance, to friends and family (I don’t think you should be afraid to ask them to be a part of helping you radically change someone’s life, giving them a solid future – things like that are priceless), and even low-interest or no interest loans for adoption. Now, you have to be willing to chase down paperwork, write grant applications, and work VERY HARD to get everything done. It can be a big task if you’re on your own. But, chances are, if you’ll hook up with a local group of adoptive families (not hard to find on social media these days) they will give you more info than you’d ever care to have on writing grants! Use the help that’s around you and you’ll see your needs be met.

4. Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. I know you don’t have enough money. I don’t either. In fact, Amy and I had exactly $0 to put towards adoption when we started the process. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. But we did have faith. It’s more important for your FAITH ACCOUNT to have a hefty balance than your BANK ACCOUNT!! At this point, MANY wonderfully generous and kind people who love God and are being obedient to His voice have contributed to these children. I don’t believe those who’ve given have given for any sort of accolade or appreciation, or even because they love our family (some don’t even know us). I believe they’ve given because God spoke to their heart to give; to be a part of changing these four lives, because that’s WHO God is and that’s WHAT God does. You have people like that in your life, too, and if you have faith in what you cannot see, trust God, and pray….like pray A LOT, the Father will provide what you need for the adoption of your kid(s) as well.

See adoption is not about you. It never was. It’s about that child or those children. God loves them so very, very much that He sometimes sells a few of those cows He owns on a thousand hills (Psalm 50:10) to give those kids, His kids a chance at a loving and safe home. A place they can meet Him. Adoption (and the payment of adoption’s expenses) says MUCH more about God’s faithfulness and purposes than about our fundraising techniques or the generosity of individuals and granting agencies. If He is the source of it all anyway, all any of us are trying to do is be faithful to what He tells us. This is faith. Believing fully in what God has spoken to your heart.

Adoption will stretch your faith in the area of finances. I understand it’s a factor. Just don’t let it be THE factor. Give God a chance to do the miraculous – like He’s done for us over and over, and no doubt so many others. By the way, if you’ll honor Him with your wealth, with the first-fruits of your life (Proverbs 3:5-10), He promises to add everything else to you as well (Matthew 6:33). I’d say that’s a pretty good return on your investment!

We are adopting internationally. Sometimes I hear from people in America (most of whom have never given two hoots about orphans) how there are plenty of children in America who need a family (the same argument is made against taking mission’s trips by people who won’t even talk to their neighbor about Jesus :-)).This is true……but let me bring a little perspective to the party.

There are some 397,000 children in the US foster system, but only 101,000 eligible for adoption. The vast majority have not been released by their parental rights to be adopted into any family. Of those eligible, 32% will wait up to three years before finding a family which is tragic and frankly, in the USA, unnecessary. All in all, though, I think the US is doing a pretty good job taking care of parent-less children!
Please read all the way to the end before you cast judgement on this post!!!

Internationally, there are some 153 million children who have lost one or both of their parents. Almost 18 million of them live in orphanages, on the street, or in other sub-par environments – some even criminal. This is even more tragic.

in 2012 (most recent stats I could find) in the whole US of A, only 7,000 children were adopted into families while over 23,000 kids aged out of the US foster care system.

The fact is, the vast majority of American families do little to nothing in a given year to impact these numbers. We might be a little too busy arguing politics on Facebook, keeping up with the Kardashians, or “following” Justin Bieber on twitter and instagram. I don’t say this to throw stones, just as a matter of fact. When only 7,000 of the MILLIONS of orphans around the world find homes in the richest, most affluent nation ever to grace the earth, the implications about what is truly important to us as a society is staggering.

Here’s the brief point. I couldn’t care less about your opinion concerning our adopting of our precious kids from Eastern Europe…….What are YOU doing to help the situation around the world?

Maybe the US foster system or adopting domestically is the right answer for you….maybe it’s adopting from China, or Eastern Europe, or Haiti, or Ethiopia…..for me it doesn’t really matter. Just do something. Don’t throw stones at those of us who are (it’s amazing what people say in ignorance). Decide to do something yourself. Here’s what I can tell you:

You’re NEVER going to be ready.
You’re NEVER going to have all the money you need. Or information. Or complete understanding. Or perfect scenario.
You’re NEVER too old to start (there are age limits to adoption – but regardless of age, you could help fund someone else or become a foster parent)
You’re NEVER going to find the “perfect” child (not sure if you remember your own imperfect biological kids!)

The question is…..will you do something? More than rhetoric? More than thinking about it? More than trying to tell everyone else how to do it? More than even praying about it? More than just throwing money at it?

This Sunday is National Orphan Sunday. I want to encourage you to ask God what He might have you do to love an orphan somewhere in the world (does it really matter, where?) and DEMONSTRATE the love we have all received from the Great Adopter.

Think about it.

Just a quick update on our progress. We have an officially APPROVED home study!! Apparently we weren’t that crazy and our social worker gave us the green light!! This is a wonderful step forward. As of this writing, Amy and I have applied for more than ten adoption grants. This has been a bit of a daunting process, as some grant forms are rather quick and simple, and others are like writing a novel – or more like an autobiography because one shouldn’t make stuff up on a grant application! I actually said a hefty “THANK GOD” when I dropped the last of these in the mail yesterday!

We made a list of all the grants and how much they contribute towards one’s adoption. Were we to receive all of them (which I’m certain we will not) the funds would be more than enough to cover the $33,000 we have left to pay. As I thought about this and silently said some prayers for God’s favor over these applications (as I’m sure nearly every other applicant is doing), explaining to God, as if He wasn’t aware, that if we don’t get some of these grants, completing this adoption will become  very difficult.  If you’re like me, we are really good at explaining to God, the creator of the universe who threw the stars in the sky, keeps the planets in orbit, and makes sure the sparrows have food, all the things He needs to do to help our situation. In this instance, as I prayed prayers I’ve prayed dozens and dozens of times, I was stopped dead in my tracks.

On this Tuesday evening, I had a little meltdown….worried about the finances (or lack thereof) at our church; worried about my family as our finances are inextricably tied to the church; and worried how we will pull this adoption thing off (stay with me here….this isn’t a whine-fest….I have a point!). Honestly, I was scared and fear was taking over.

What if we don’t get ANY grants?
What if giving doesn’t increase at our church and we also don’t get a paycheck?
(and the descent begins)
What if an Ebola pandemic erupts and i can’t get to my kids?
What if the blood moon thing is real and the whole world is about to collapse?
(and on and on and on it goes – hey, pastors are human too!)

It’s like the Holy Spirit grabbed me by the nape of my neck, like my grandpa used to do when I was little, and whispered in my ear, “Son, who is your source?”

Wait. What?
That’s not a word of comfort or help. Where’s the poetic Psalm or wisdom of Proverbs, or the TAKE HEART of the Gospels? “Who is your source?” That’s all I get in this moment of doom?

What i think God was really asking me, is in whom do I trust? Am I counting on the granting agencies to provide for this God-ordained mission? Am I hoping a few more families will begin to tithe and that will solve all the financial stresses at the church? Do I trust the CDC and US Government to protect my family from Ebola?

Look, there are ALWAYS many more reasons to be scared. Many more reasons to want to run away and hide. Many more reasons to just throw in the towel….to stop believing. But there’s ONE really good reason to not……

Because HE (God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit) is in control AND He is FAITHFUL and full of everlasting LOVE.

That’s it. Profound, right?
But how often, when facing uncertainty, do so many of us forget this FACT? How often do we fall into despair forgetting how amazing God is? This is so easy to do, and can be so challenging to get out of, but here’s what I’ve concluded for my uncertainties:

If we get 0 grants – God is in control.
If everyone in my church stops giving – God is in control.
If Ebola or Isis or democrats (or republicans if you’re on the other side of the aisle) wins control in the next election – God is in control.
When no one is ordering from your business and you’re scared you may have to close up shop – God is in control.
When you’ve been diagnosed with a nasty disease – God is in control.
When the WHOLE WORLD seems like it might fall apart – God is in control.

He DELIGHTS in those who DON’T STOP BELIEVING just because of uncertainty.

My faith is in God. My hope is in His ability and omnipotence to cover every possible scenario. He never promised us a nice peaceful existence with daffodils and luscious bluegrass in which to frolic. All He promised was that if we BELIEVED in HIM….we’d never thirst again….never have to worry….never have to fret….and that He would always be with us.

That’s enough for me.
I hope He is enough for you.

Isaac, our biological four year old, has no problem trusting. He will jump from the top of the steps and never worries an ounce that I will catch him. So far, we are batting 1.000. I’m getting to the point I cringe every time he jumps. He doesn’t know how much heavier he is and how old and frageelay (it’s a French word) his daddy is! But he trusts. Without hesitation. With utter abandon. He is absolutely certain I will catch him and not let him fall. I never have before, so why start now?

I wish I was a four year old again.

But I’m not. I’m 36 and I’m trying to trust my Heavenly Father the way Isaac trusts his earthly father. Can you imagine how much different your life might be (assuming you have faith in God) if you could just simply trust him completely? With everything? Even flying leaps into the utter unknown without any kind of safety net? I think that’s exactly what Amy and I are trying to do with every part of our life.

You may not know it, but since June, when all of this adoption stuff began to form, all kinds of things began to break loose in awesomeness at our church at the same time. God has been busy in our lives and we don’t know how all of this is going to play out! I’m watching and trusting God for bigger things than I’ve ever had to before. That’s a scary place for a 36 year old to be……but a four year old….he just jumps!

We LOVE Steven Curtis Chapman. I loved his stuff in high school and have begun to rediscover him through my daughter, who may have a little crush on him (she knows his birthday and the names/ages of his kids!). We’ve been listening a lot, and by a lot, I mean A LOT to his most recent album entitled “The Glorious Unfolding.” It’s a great album and has really hit home during this wonderful season of God-moments. In one song, the lyrics rehearse, “We walk by faith and not by sight, we know it’s true….we say it and sing it and love the way it sounds. But none of us can even begin to truly understand what it really means until the lights go out. And there you are….nothing to hold on to….but the promises God’s made to me and you.”

The encouragement we have felt from those words is enormous as we TRUST God while traversing the unknown. It’s like we’re taking that flying leap off the stairs into the arms of Father God trusting He will catch us every time. I think this is what Jesus meant when He said we had to have faith (or trust, if you will) like a little child.

Faith like a child.

Faith like Isaac.

Faith to jump off the stairs with confidence you’ll be caught before you slam into the floor.

Faith to adopt a group of kids from Poland, nearly doubling the size of your family.

Faith God will somehow bring in $40,000 to pay for everything.

Faith our biological kids will embrace their new siblings and we’ll become one GIANT happy family.

Faith our Father is covering every detail and nuance of this whole process.

I can almost see Him standing at the bottom of the stairs as we take up our jumping positions. Arms outstretched. His gentle voice whispering to just trust Him….with Him….I can fly!

Are you ready to leap?

Luckily, Amy and I have some experience loving from a distance. After our sophomore year in High School in Elkhart, Indiana, where I grew up and Amy lived for several years, her dad took a job at a church in Greenville, Ohio. At that point we’d been an item for over two years and had no intention of letting up. it was about a 3 hour drive from my house to hers. I would make that drive every other weekend for the next nearly two years. I’m certain we talked most every night and did the “no you hang up first” thing often. Ah, young love……..

We had no choice but to love from a distance. Surely you understand how powerful young love can be? It wrecks your life. There’s nothing else to think about. My whole existence became to live weekend to every-other weekend, to work and save money for a ring, and make plans to marry this girl I loved from a distance. Young love is powerful.

But the truth is it pales in comparison to the love a parent has for their children. I am learning a whole new level of what it means to love from a distance. This isn’t any kind of romantic love, like Amy and I share. It’s a fierce, fatherly, protective, take-them-in-my-arms where it’s safe kind of love. To show them the security and consistency the love Amy and I have for our children provide them. Our kids in Poland don’t understand what this is yet. They’ve not felt the strength of my embrace or the warmth of Amy’s touch. We don’t have the privilege of visiting them every other weekend to help them feel what we so desperately want them to feel. They probably don’t even know about us yet. We have to love them from a distance yearning for the day we’ll be able to take them in our arm and say for the first time, in complete sincerity, honesty, and probably in Polish how much we love them and have loved them……from a distance. From 4,652 miles, to be more precise. It’s a great distance to cover.

But honestly, it’s nothing compared to the distance Father God has covered for us. Colossians tells us He (Jesus) left His very throne, His seat of power to become a lowly human like you and me. Father God wasn’t limited by time and distance and money so He sent Jesus to us….to live like us….to feel like us….to understand what our life is like….Jesus was the Father’s gift of love to his children. You see, God’s fatherly love is like my fatherly love. It’s fierce and protective and desires the best for us. Sometimes we feel love so deeply we have a hard time expressing our love to those we love in a tangible way. We buy them gifts, write notes of love or share moments of intimacy – but none of those things ever seem to be enough. But, this is how we, as humans often express our love. God is a little different. Sure, He blesses us; sure, He takes care of us; sure, we can have a powerful and meaningful relationship with Him….but He went beyond that. God demonstrated His love for us by sending Jesus to die for us (love is nothing if not demonstrated). And not after we had expressed any sort of love or passion for Him, but while we were still lost. Still sinners. Still broken. Still abused. Still hurting. Still wrapped up in ourselves. And, dare I say, still orphans.

I understand God’s experience loving from a distance. Anyone who is away from Him, anyone who doesn’t believe or isn’t in relationship with the Father, God is forced to love from a distance. Knowing how my heart aches for these children I will someday meet and cuddle and hold, I can’t imagine how Father God feels loving from a distance many whom He will never have a chance to meet, cuddle, and hold (hopefully you can handle the “father” imagery of God :-)). It’s why He never gives up His pursuit of every “orphan” on this planet. He loves you so very much that before you were ever considered, ever though about by anyone on earth; before your great grandparents to the 10th power were even alive, He gave you the very best gift He could think of. It wasn’t something that would perish, spoil, or fade away by life and time…..it was something that would last the distance of eternity…..the opportunity to have a new start in this life and an eternal love of the Father that will never leave you or forsake you. It’s an inheritance better than anything this world might offer.

The truth is, we are all orphans in this life – sin has made this the case. So God remedied this problem. He adopted us. He chose us. If you’ll just believe in Him, you don’t have to be an orphan anymore….you don’t have to be loved from a distance. God will wrap His enormous Fatherly arms around you and hold you tight, heal your brokenness, and, someday, bring you into His very household. I can’t wait to do this for our kids in Poland…..I know God can’t wait to do this for you and anyone else who would come to Him.

So now we are in the waiting pattern. Since we finally received the official go ahead from Poland, we have been feverishly working to complete our home study. Gathering documents, meeting with our social worker (who is wonderful, I might add!), getting medical exams including blood-work…..not gonna lie….I almost ended up on the floor, but hey…I don’t have HIV or Hep B or Tuberculosis, cleaning the house and completing small projects that have been waiting for some attention has become the norm. It’s really amazing how quickly those little projects get taken care of when one has some motivation!

We met for our first of two social worker meetings on Amy and my’s 14th anniversary; August 4th. It’s kind of weird unpacking your life story for someone in such quick fashion. Before we went I was a little nervous about it, like they’re looking for ways to trip you up, catch you in a mis-step, or a lie. “Well, Mr. Carlson, I thought you said your relationship with your paternal grandmother was excellent? But that’s not what you’ve indicated now. Could you restate that and tell the truth?” One builds up, in their minds, this interview process to be more of an interrogation, like these social workers are against you or something. Nothing could be further from the truth. We spent a couple of hours answering questions, talking through the ins and outs of adopting from Eastern Europe and really enjoyed the company on our anniversary. Sure she asked us about our upbringing, our family relationships, our marriage, how our biological kids feel about all of this (they are as excited as we are!), but we felt she was very much for us and so excited about bringing these kids home. 

I appreciate what social workers do. They have a tough job. I mean think about it: in a two hour interview she’s trying to figure out if we are crazy or not. Do we have the wherewithal to parent these four orphans or will we just add some luggage to the baggage they already carry? I get it. It may be just a little uncomfortable at times for the adoptive or foster parent to go through, but really, isn’t that what we want? If MY kids were the orphans…..if MY kids were being adopted by another family who would be responsible for their upbringing, their worldview, their health, their future, and massively contribute to who they would become, I’d want the social worker to make sure those parents were worth their salt. That they had it together. That they’d love and care for my kids. Not that they were perfect, just that they would love MY kids as their own and do their best. I’d want the social worker to knock out any potential parents who would be a detriment to my kids. What loving parent wouldn’t want that? We don’t know the history of these kids yet. We don’t know how they became orphans. But I know this…..whether their parents have passed, are addicts, abusive, or whatever….in their soul, when they’re honest with themselves, they would want the same for these kids. They would want Susie the Social Worker to make sure the Carlson’s will be a great family for their kids. 

So I was nervous, but Susie (that is actually her name :)) did a great job putting me at ease and feeling so strongly she was on our side….and on the side of our kids. I’m grateful for that. 

A couple of weeks later, she came to check our our home and meet our biological kids, along with Charlie the dog, who may have eaten her shoe. We had a great hour visit. The kids loved showing her around our house and we finishing up some questions, filling in the gaps so she could go home and write the final home study report. All of our documents are in; everything on our end has been submitted for the home study, so now we do what I do best…..we wait.

Actually, we go on vacation!! We’ve been planning this trip to Florida (not Disney!) for many months. We’re looking forward to the relaxation and the beach after such a hectic and God-filled two months! It’s kind of mind blowing to think how much our life has changed since June 23rd when I first saw our children. We can’t wait for them to come home. What I love is…….

We’re Just Getting Started!! I CANNOT wait to see what God does next!!!

One of my MANY skills is patience. I am so amazingly gifted at waiting. I never get anxious, worried, agitated, annoying, or concerned. I walk through situations which require waiting or trusting God when I see nothing happening with incredible grace and faith. People often comment how they wish they could be like me when it comes to waiting.

All of the above is a MASSIVE LIE!!! I HATE waiting. In fact, the only thing I hate more than waiting is fasting. I really LOVE food and giving it up for a season of time is just painful. But waiting……ugh. The problem is, (and just admit it, this is probably your problem too), I want a microwave life but live in a crock pot world. So annoying.

God had, in our eyes, performed at least three or four major miracles….things which should not have happened, but they did, in this process. We hadn’t received a firm YES from Poland yet, but we were doing everything we could do to have the best shot at receiving it. Now, as our home study began with gathering an enormous number of documents, we moved into waiting mode. We tried so hard to go on with normal life. It was July at this point. We were SUPER busy with some other amazing miracles God was performing for the church we pastor (that should be a blog in itself), and the normal summer stuff with our four kids. Just waiting.

On July 21st, Amy and I took 9 kids from our church up to Hartford City, Indiana for our fellowship’s Kid’s Camp. On the way home we stopped at Riley Hospital in Indy to visit a young man from our church who had recently had surgery. On the way out, I checked my email. We had an email from Rebecca!

CHI’s director and the on-the-ground liaison were able to advocate for us on behalf of our four kids with the authorities in Poland. They told them about our family, showed them pictures, and talked with them about how serious we are. They understood we didn’t quite fit their “normal” parameters but we really felt like these kids were our children. They shared with them about how we had literally put our money where our mouth was and signed on with CHI and booked our home study. I don’t know if the folks from Poland were impressed or not……but they said YES!!!

THEY SAID YES!!!!

With just one more hurdle to clear…..they wanted the CHI ladies to meet with the foster parents and the local adoption authority in the town where the kids were located. If they said YES to our family, the we would be on like Donkey Kong!

Rebecca said we should know a definite by the end of that week.

More waiting. But we were elated! It kept getting more and more real. Little by little Amy and I were letting our hearts fall in love with these beautiful Polish kids we’d never even met….didn’t know what size shirts to buy them….don’t know how they came to need us….they have a history all their own of which we would never be a part, but we knew; just knew, we had to be a part of their future……We loved these kids like our souls had loved them since the beginning. It’s just right. We loved them….So we waited.

We still love them. Our kids love them. So we wait. Because they are waiting for us.

When God decrees a thing………..

The last few days have been super busy….We are in the middle of our home study process, so Amy and I, for that, had medical exams. I want to say a big THANK YOU and shout out to my friends over at Kingsway Community Care Center in Avon who took Amy and I in and helped us complete the medical exam. After a quick jaunt over to the hospital for blood work. All of our paperwork is now finished for the home study so we can proceed!! This is excellent news. Oh, and I don’t have Hep B, tuberculosis, or HIV. That’s good, too, I think.

The preliminary approval we received from Poland made everything a little (OK, a LOT) more real. Like I mentioned before, we had really tried to get our hopes up, but now they were sky-high! Rebecca made it clear we could do some things to show Poland we were serious….like make our relationship with CHI official, sign with a home study agency and get that ball rolling, and start working on paperwork. Her feeling was if the director of CHI and the on-the-ground liaison could demonstrate tangibly to the folks in Poland we were in this for the long haul when they met in a few weeks, Poland would be much more likely to officially say yes. So we did all those things while we waited for the ladies from CHI to head to Eastern Europe in mid-July. We signed up with CHI right away. Why not, right? We had really loved everything about them so far. Then we started looking for an agency in Indiana that could do our home study for us. There were only three Hague certified, which is required for an international adoption. We really liked the relationship some friends of ours have had with FTIA in Evansville (Families Thru International Adoption) so we signed with them to do the home study. Up to this point there hadn’t been any investment, financially. But at this level, that had to change. In fact we needed $3,000.00.

Like, yesterday.

I had already been thinking about selling my truck. The 11MPG was killing me! The day before I was going to do the obligatory pictures and list it for sale on Craigslist, God reminded us He is The Great Provider. In conversation some very dear friends of ours found out about our plans for the adoption (not many people knew at this point) and our immediate need. We talked a little about all the upcoming hurdles and what we felt God was doing before they left and went on their way.

A few minutes after they left, I received a text from them. It went something like this…..”hey, we’ll take care of the $3000. Just let us know when you need it.”
It was one of those moments I was floored and yet I wasn’t floored. God had shown us already He was in this whole thing, He just hadn’t yet made it clear HOW He was going to provide the $40,000ish it was going to take to make it happen. This first act of obedience on our friend’s end (not their first act for sure), and our first act of true trusting faith, was God’s little way of reminding us He knows the need and has a plan to meet it. If He called us to this, He would provide for us to accomplish it. I think, as a believer, I consciously understand this, and as a pastor I constantly preach this……I just don’t always live it. Can’t you relate?

What a joy it was to write a check to PAY IN FULL our home study and our initial fee to CHI!!! Never have I been so excited to write checks totaling $3000 in my life!!

This wasn’t the first miracle God had performed for us…or rather for these kids. But it was a MAJOR confirmation of what we felt God was already showing us. What’s for absolute CERTAIN, is this miracle would not be the last.

It’s a question we get somewhat regularly. Adoption IS very expensive. It takes an enormous amount of funds both in our country and in the other country to pull this off. If you’ve ever adopted before, especially internationally, you understand the costs every family incurs. Generally speaking, the adoption of one child ranges in fees from $25,000 to $30,000 depending on the country of adoption.

Our adoption is a little unique as we aren’t adopting one child but four. There is a reduction is fees as this is considered “special needs.” Also, any child over the age of 3 is considered an older child and thus “special needs” because they are harder to adopt out. and we have some of those.

So all of our fees including travel, home study, immigration documents, agency fees, and Poland fees are going to push $40,000. We’ve received to date around $4500 of that through the generosity of some of our friends. This is a large expense for our family and there’s basically no way we can just cover it.

The Lord has encouraged us with peace, knowing He will provide all we need!!

As soon as our home study is complete we can begin applying for grants, and there are a gazillion out there…..but there is also fierce competition for limited funding. We have already perused them and picked the 15 – 20 we will apply for, thanks to the hard compliation work of a couple of our friends. We CANNOT WAIT to start that process and see some real movement in that number!

But perhaps you’d like to be a part of this…..it’s OK if you don’t, financially, anyway, but many people love to be a part of something bigger than they are. I keep telling people who ask, “Amy and I will raise these kids for the next 20 years….putting food on the table, taking them on vacation, building memories, helping them through school & college, helping them become useful mammels……but maybe you’d want to help us on the front end….help us get them home so we have the opportunity to do all of that.” There is absolutely NO PRESSURE in this…. and we love you the same!!! But there are basically two options if you’d like to be a part of this:
1. You can send a check to help cover expenses. Send it to us at 620 N Carr Rd, Plainfield, IN 46168.
OR
2. You can give through gofundme.com. You can check out our page by clicking here.

Whatever you do, we are grateful and always will be. Our kids will know your name and have a full understanding we couldn’t have brought them home without youre help. Not to mention all that treasure in heaven stuff……

Any questions?? just ask!!